Actually

So, the Backpacker did arrange to meet up with me after all. The slow communication has been in part due to his field work and having to camp for his job. As to the rest, well, I decided to take a chance on him and it was actually a really nice date. He seems like a very interesting person and I really like him. Too tired at the moment to write much else, but you know that giddy feeling when you have a crush on somebody and find out they like you back? Yeah, that. Throw in a kid and a difficult schedule and it gets more complicated, but for now I will gladly take the giddiness of meeting somebody new and hitting it off.

Sigh.

Ok, here is a poll, small handful of people who might read this blog post: when do you decide a dude is too flaky to bother meeting up with? 

See previous handful of posts if you really want to know my background (such as it is) with the Backpacker. Seriously annoyed that somebody could be told I don’t like to text endlessly, tell me he wants to meet up, tell me consistently that he is attracted to this thing or that thing about me, and then drag out making arrangements for days. I think I have my answer, honestly. 

Sunday, Sunday

I am very much liking my life these days. I really am strengthening my connections here in town and I am having an easier time finding ways to get out and people to get out with each week. Today was less eventful than Saturday but I did host a hike with a local hiking club in the evening. We walked about 4 miles on a dirt road in mud but the company was good, and the sunset and distant city lights were pretty to look at.

I am still trying to figure out the Backpacker, but maybe he really is just a little awkward? (Opinions on this may change.) After I basically said I was interested in meeting but not interested in texting forever he did step up, a little. He said he wanted to meet, and then a (slightly painful and reminiscent of the sloth DMV scene in the movie ‘Zootopia’) rambling discussion about where and when ensued. He is not a fast text responder most of the time, and his responses tend toward “I don’t know, what works for you?” (That isn’t very promising, is it?) I lost my phone in the middle of this prolongued text dialogue and only found it again this evening just before midnight, so nothing has been settled yet. But hopefully it will be settled tomorrow. Maybe? Good lord. Who would have thought “Let’s get coffee” would be this complicated.

The Toddler Test: Day…5?

It is already obvious to me that I will not be able to keep count to 30 days, much less 60. No matter.

Today was just a really lovely day. The Women’s March in our state capitol was this morning. I was planning to meet up with some people from my parent group at a coffee shop first, but I didn’t know their faces. When I arrived at the bistro I joined what I thought was the right group at a little table, only to discover that it was a group of ladies working to expand extracurricular Spanish in local elementary schools. We had a nice talk despite the mix-up, and I have their business card now. Shortly after discovering my mistake, another surprise- in to the coffee shop walked a neighbor from my old street who I haven’t seen in well over a year. We chatted a little, and finally a face I did know from my parent group showed up. She introduced me to everybody else and I had a group to hang out with during the march. It was a great event. I had the toddler and we only stayed an hour, but the crowd was really something to see. The local paper said more than 3000 people came, and it felt good to see that number out in the snow and showing their support for kindness, decency, and human rights.

This afternoon I drove out to the wildlife refuge I used to work at and checked out an education trunk. I chatted with my old office-mate and a volunteer I used to work with, then went to hang out with a friend for the afternoon. We were going to try and do crafts, but my toddler was not interested in letting that happen. So instead we hung out, chatted, and did a little zumba workout (I did mine while the toddler hung off my arms and legs).

Oh, and the backpacker texted to say he wants to meet up. I am still skeptical it will happen, but it was unexpected in a good way. For now I am happy to see how things develop.

Conversations today with my inadvertant texting penpal…

Backpacker: You haven’t been very talkative this week
Me: Yeah… Things have been busy – I’m sure you know how that goes. I’m getting ready for my first teaching exam next month, I applied for a new job and have an interview next week, and my ex is out of country for a major surgery right now, meaning I really am parenting solo for the next 30-60 days. Not complaining… That’s just the lineup right now.

I have enjoyed our conversations. Writing is a comfortable space for me, but I’m not big on texting, at least not by itself. I think writing is a great way to relate to people, but the only way to actually know them is face-to-face. No pressure, because I really do understand being busy and choosing priorities. For me my priority with my limited free time is getting out with friends, and maybe expanding my social circle or exploring other options by meeting the random interesting stranger.

Ha, that was probably a more in-depth answer than you were really looking for.

Unspoken subtext: Dude! I’ve asked you out like 3 times already. Most girls don’t do the asking at all. Either meet up with me or stop texting already! It’s been 2 weeks.

The Toddler Test – Day 3

I signed a new apartment lease today. It is the first time in my 30+ years that I have been on a lease entirely by myself. It will be only the second year in my life that I have lived alone… Well, I say alone. Just me and the kiddo.

Backpacker messaged me out of the blue today after several days of radio silence. We had talked about potentially getting coffee next weekend, but just like last weekend when he had said he might be able to manage something on Sunday and then never got back to me, I highly suspect next weekend is not going to happen, either. Today he simply asked me “how are you” and talked about the icy roads. And then back to silence. I am a little annoyed. And yet I still would be excited to meet him. *Sigh.* Ugh.

The Toddler Test – Day 2

After a second night of 12:30 – 4:30/5am sleep, I am feeling really hazy this morning. I sent out an application for a pretty great job, and I sent check-in emails to all my work references. I also talked on the phone to the woman who is going to be my study buddy for the teaching certification test. We reviewed a few standards together, but I was too tired to get much use out of the study session. We agreed to talk again later in the week, and hopefully I will be more awake and able to process information then. 

Last night I also messaged my ex, who was at the Seatac Airport around midnight and was just about to board a plane for Bangkok. Her current partner posted a screen shot of the plane’s progress early this morning, when it was just past the tip of Alaska. Three and a half years ago my ex and I were flying a similar route, on our way to Siberia for an adventure. A lot happens in 3.5 years.

This is a morning in which I need to spell out each next step for myself…. Or take a nap so I can think again. Step 1. Shower. Step 2. Schedule ABCTE exam. Step 3. Stop by apartment office to renew my lease. Step 4. Get health insurance (time is running out on that one). Step 5. Probably go to work…. I have a job as a Title I Aide this afternoon. Not at all sure what that will entail. Tonight I am definitely getting more sleep.

Not sure if I should keep messaging people on the dating apps right now. It might be better to set thoughts of dating aside until my ex is back and I have more free time again. Getting out with other adults at all is going to be a challenge, I think. I also want to make sure I am emotionally present for my kiddo, and not distracted all the time. On the other hand, I really do miss sex and physical imtimacy, and I really would not be opposed to another relationship. Online dating gets me out into that world of possibility again.